Melpotism
His Majesty King George the Melby has frequently been accused of partaking in nepotism (henceforth known as Melpotism) regarding his daughter, Princess Mackenzie. Much evidence has been amassed: # King George the Melby has thrown a pencil at Princess Mackenzie. While this does not qualify as positive Melpotism, it can still be interpreted as special treatment as King George the Melby has not been observed throwing pencils at his other students. # King George the Melby has bought chocolate from Princess Mackenzie and has even stored her box of chocolate on his desk to follow shortly. Although no student has been observed buying a chocolate from King George the Melby directly, the chocolate on his box could be subliminally suggesting to his students that they buy chocolate from Princess Mackenzie. # Princess Mackenzie has an A in AP Chemistry. Whether this is due to preferential grading or to the presence of a number of highly chemistry-oriented hereditary traits is up to debate, but both of these explanations qualify as Melpotism. # On 28 October 2015, King Melby received twenty-three (23) emails regarding a stray dog on school grounds. When the princess asked for more details, he invited her to view a picture of said dog on his computer. Because this invitation was not extended to any of the other students in the classroom, it further demonstrates the rampant and shameful Melpotism present during 3rd period AP Chemistry. # On 10 November 2015, King Melby and Princess Mackenzie were observed walking from his domain (D-3) at 4:03 PM. The King, of course, is known to frequent his classroom-palace for hours after 3:00 PM, the widely accepted curfew, but the Princess was clearly receiving additional advice despite only officially being in his classroom from 10:20 to 11:13. This has since become a shamefully frequent occurrence. # On 20 November 2015, King George the Melby and Princess Mackenzie Melby were seen walking through the door to the fabled Hammock Lands during lunch. The king confirmed to Drain Rat and Rainwaffles that he was leaving for Thanksgiving Break then, not after school, an unexpected and, in fact, unprecedented development in the history of Melbytology. This event is a prime example of Melpotism in action because the king has not yet arranged for another teacher at the school to substitute for him during 5th and 6th period so that he can leave for break early and walk through the Hammock Lands at the beginning of lunch with one of his commoner subjects. Unfortunately, such special treatment of the princess is expected to continue for the rest of the year. # On two separate occasions, the princess has been witnessed leaning on the royal shoulder of the great king himself. Although the king did not so much as flinch in reaction to her gratuitous breach of social etiquette (as it pertains to royals attempting to remain incognito), this also qualifies as Melpotism, as it is not plausible that the king would condone such a behavior if she were not a member of his family. # During 3rd period AP Chemistry, the king has handled the princess' calculator after she was unable to input the required calculations correctly. It was immediately hypothesized that the king would not deign to touch the calculator of a commoner such as Rainwaffles, but this was swiftly disproven when Rainwaffles requested and received royal aid in finding the "+" key on his calculator. However, it was also noted that the king touched significantly more buttons, and for a significantly longer period of time, on the princess' calculator than he did on that of Rainwaffles, so this momentous occasion is currently classified by top Melbytologists as a stunning example of Melpotism, albeit a more subtle form of it. This event marks the first recorded instance of disguised Melpotism and, in fact, represents a failed* attempt by the king to seem more fair and even-handed in his interactions with his diverse group of students. # On 10 December 2015, Drain Rat inquired as to how late the king would be residing in his classroom that afternoon and was told by His Majesty himself that he would only remain "probably only until, like, 3:20 or so**" because the king was obliged to take his daughter to a separate location rather soon after the official end of the school day. After school, while Drain Rat was conversing with the king on the topic of the catalysis*** of ozone production and decomposition in the atmosphere by nitric oxide, the princess interrupted said discussion of synthesis and decomposition reactions by awkwardly approaching the royal desk of the great king himself and then standing there until he questioned her motives for such an action by asking her what was "up" (this colloquialism is assumed to translate roughly to the following phrase, which has been modified slightly for clarity: "Forsooth, to what dost thou been up?"). The princess quietly informed him that she had a "meeting" to attend, a reply to which the king responded with a casual "I know..." Shortly thereafter, Drain Rat and the other two commoner subjects of the king were exiled from his great classroom for the rest of the day, presumably so that he could personally deliver his daughter to her (alleged) meeting. This series of events is classified as a prime example of Melpotism because the king, who undoubtedly suffers from Demelbtia, has evidently taken the time and effort to memorize his daughter's schedule, despite his busy schedule of teaching high-schoolers chemistry while covertly running a nation(s) on the side. This Melbjical ability to memorize things while in the throes of Demelbtia is a miracle that so far has not, as the current evidence suggests, positively affected any of his other students in a comparable manner, a glaring inequality that is (quite unfortunately) only one data point on a much larger trend. Sadly, the many instances of Melpotism involving even the great king himself, especially those documented on this page, are thought by many**** to be only the tip of the iceberg of an extraordinarily well-developed viewpoint espousing such tactics as morally correct and laudable. All allegations of Melpotism are classified as heresy. Accusers will be thrown into a pool of MELBiUM. *It must be said, however, that it is also considered heresy to insinuate that the great King George the Melby the Great (May He Live a Thousand Years) ever fails at anything, including providing the Pertrashate Three with an adequate and satisfying answer to the age-old question of "WHAT IS CHARGE??!!??!!???/1/1/2" **The good king's stunning eloquence is admired by many. ***Note that in general, no cats, Schrodinger's or otherwise, are involved in this reaction. ****Or rather, by some... "First me, then Fox! Two is some!" Or maybe even only one...